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“This inspiring, reassuring, and easy-to-read book from two of the nation's leading experts in family caregiving will help you navigate this new landscape. Clear, helpful, well informed, and wise.”

—Katy Butler, author of Knocking on Heaven's Door and The Art of Dying Well


“Family caregivers will repeatedly turn to this superb companion for support, advice, and affirmation. The authors' kindness and humility are palpable as they unflinchingly cover the hard questions caregivers face—many of which they experienced themselves. The compassionate language, accessible format, and nuts-and-bolts topics make this book a beacon of light.”

—Carol Bradley Bursack, caregiver support group facilitator and columnist, “Minding Our Elders”


“Whether you’ve been caring for a loved one for years, you’re just getting started, or you think you may need to do it soon, the AARP Caregiver Answer Book is invaluable, comforting, and illuminating. Drs. Jacobs and Mayer brilliantly mix insights from clinical practice and research with their own challenging experiences taking care of their parents. An indispensable resource.”

—Stephen Fried, coauthor of Profiles in Mental Health Courage


“Expert authors address practical challenges—like how to prevent falls, find home health or respite care, and deal with Medicaid—and emotional challenges, like conflicts with family members and overwhelming pressures. The book describes helpful resources that many caregivers never learn about, such as financial planners, and offers tips you might not have considered. As a caregiver, you need to handle problems you have never faced before, and that your friends, family, and even physicians may not understand. This book is an invaluable resource to read from cover to cover or to hunt for solutions to unexpected problems.”

—William E. Haley, PhD, Distinguished University Professor, School of Aging Studies, University of South Florida


“This book tackles important but often unspoken aspects of caregiving, including anger, exhaustion, and resentment, let alone the loss of a close relationship. Having recently lost my spouse, I found the sections on caring for partners and the chapter on death and grief particularly impactful—they reflected my own experiences in a way few resources have. The book addresses so many critical topics in one place. It offers small, achievable actions to help maximize your loved one’s independence and dignity while protecting yourself from burnout.”

—Suzanne D., Philadelphia


“This book is just what I needed to read as a caregiver to my mom. It offers easy-to-follow guidance on all aspects of caregiving, from practical questions to financial and emotional concerns. I am eager to share this book with my siblings to spark good and honest conversations about how we can best support our mom—and one another.”

—Betsy U., Los Angeles


“Having cared for my husband during his 12-year journey with dementia, I could tell immediately that the authors of this book have been in the trenches. So much of what is available is written in general—or worse, clinical—terms. This book captures the details, the search for answers, how it feels to be broadsided by the enormity of the task. The questions and answers are so very real, heartfelt, and honest. I love the term 'care receiver'; the emphasis on the dignity of that person resonates deeply. More than just learning, I felt validated by words that were in my head but that I’ve never before seen in black and white.”

—Melanie K., Ponte Vedra, Florida

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Table of Contents

Authors’ Note

Introduction

1. Welcome to Caregiving

2. Assessing Your Situation

3. Taking Care of Yourself, Too

4. Communicating with Dignity

5. Caring for a Parent

6. Caring for a Partner

7. Caring for Someone with Cognitive Impairment

8. Day-to-Day Caregiving at Home

9. Caregiving in a Facility and from a Distance

10. The High Cost of Caregiving

11. Collaborating with Siblings and Other Relatives

12. Partnering with Helping Professionals

13. When the End is in Sight—and Afterward

Afterword

Resources

Index

About the Authors

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About the Authors

Barry J. Jacobs, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and family therapist who works with caregivers and care receivers in private practice in Media, Pennsylvania. He has written extensively about caregiving, including a long-running self-help column for caregivers on AARP.org, and is a sought-after speaker and workshop presenter. Dr. Jacobs is also a Principal at a national health care consulting firm.

• Author's website
• All titles by Barry J. Jacobs

Julia L. Mayer, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in Media, Pennsylvania, who specializes in working with women and has a growing focus on supporting caregivers. She is coauthor of articles and books on caregiving and relationships with her husband, Barry J. Jacobs, and is also a published novelist. Dr. Mayer is cohost of a podcast on psychology and social justice and a former president of the Philadelphia Psychology Network.

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Audience

Anyone who is caring for an ill, aging, or disabled family member; also of interest to health care professionals.