Introduction

I. Start Where You Are: Understanding How Things Go Wrong in Relationships and How Things Get Better

1. We All Need to Be Loved

2. "Why Can't You Be Here for Me?": Understanding What Gets in the Way

3. "I Wish I Could Fix It!": Resisting Pain with Problem Solving

4. "Do You Care?": Finding Safe Connection

5. "Who Will Love Me?": Ensuring That Compassion Is Always Available to You

II. Building a Foundation for Compassion in Your Relationship: Mindfulness, Common Humanity, and Kindness

6. Being Present: Mindfulness Skills to See Clearly and Quiet Reactivity

7. Cultivating Connection: Strength in Common Humanity

8. Getting What We Need: Kindness in Three Directions

III. Putting It into Practice: Tailoring Compassion Skills to Your Relationship

9. "What Really Matters to Us?": Rooting Your Relationship in Your Values

10. "How Can We Really Get Each Other?": Using Compassionate Communication Skills

11. "Can We Heal Our Wounds?": Cultivating the Conditions for Forgiveness

12. "How Do We Keep Our Love Alive?": Celebrating Positive Experiences Together

Resources

Notes

List of Audio Tracks

Index

Audio Downloads:

1. Finding Strength and Softness (5:25)

2. Uncovering Your Survival Strategies and How They Impact Your Partner (5:52)

3. Discovering Our Tendencies to Fix and Finding Vulnerability Underneath (4:57)

4. Discovering What’s Underneath Your Need to Control, What Your Partner Feels, and How to Speak from Vulnerability (3:29)

5. Finding the Strong Back of Compassion (3:57)

6. Finding the Soft Front of Compassion (4:31)

7. Discovering How We Treat Ourselves and Others (5:35)

8. Putting Self-Compassion into Practice with Mindfulness, Common Humanity, and Kindness (8:54)

9. Supportive Touch (4:31)

10. Soles of the Feet (4:10)

11. Awareness of Breath (7:41)

12. Awareness of Sound (5:38)

13. STOP (5:35)

14. Touching Hands (5:06)

15. Discovering Common Humanity (5:57)

16. Belonging (6:48)

17. Loving-Kindness for Couples (9:13)

18. Motivating Yourself with Compassion (12:22)

19. Soften, Soothe, and Allow (8:42)

20. Meeting Our Own Needs (4:47)

21. Discovering Your Core Values (5:16)

22. STOP and LOVE (13:43)

23. Forgiving Others (7:48)

24. Forgiving Yourself (7:22)

25. Gratitude for Your Partner (3:51)