“An extremely useful and highly readable guide....Manning paints vivid portraits of how an encounter with someone with this affliction might go....It has offered me, as a therapist, plenty of ideas....[An] aid to understanding and humanizing a complex condition.”

—Human Givens


“This hopeful yet realistic book is an indispensable tool for managing relationships with persons who have borderline personality disorder. Research based, clearly written, and practical, this guide to a complex disorder is highly recommended.”

—Library Journal


“Manning's own background equips her well to provide this self-help resource. Manning trained in DBT under Marsha Linehan and has accumulated a wealth of experience working clinically with people with BPD. She makes frequent reference to DBT throughout the book, but her major achievement is to translate DBT principles and methods into practical steps and advice that are accessible to a lay person….The techniques of mindfulness, awareness of emotional triggers, validation and others can be usefully integrated into many areas of clinical practice, especially for clinicians advising supporters of people with BPD….A clearly written and accessible guide that deserves to be widely read, and which should be available to lay members of the public and to health professionals.”

—Metapsychology Online Reviews


“More than many other disorders, BPD affects relationships. This book offers families and friends invaluable skills for helping both their loved one and themselves. Dr. Manning has done a beautiful job. A 'must read.'”

—Perry D. Hoffman, PhD, President, National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder


“Try out the recommendations this book gives you. You will be surprised by how much better your relationships become.”

—from the Foreword by Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, ABPP, Professor and Director Emeritus, Behavioral Research and Therapy Clinics, University of Washington; developer of DBT


“The title says it all! Dr. Manning explains what she has learned about the true nature of BPD from the experts themselves—those who have the disorder. She shows family and friends how our instinctive responses to the crises associated with BPD are frequently ineffective or even harmful, and illuminates what we can do differently, providing practical, incisive, step-by-step guidance. We highly recommend this book.”

—Jim and Diane Hall, parents of an adult child with BPD and Family Educators for the National Alliance on Mental Illness and the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder